Patience

You came to surprise me and perhaps many
You said that you aren't always welcomed, not voluntarily at least
You are present in mom's presence, grandma's actions and words
I remember seeing you a lot when I was younger

You dont feel at home at my workplace
Many see you as a lack of drive / intelligence
When really, all you see is aspiration
You are shy too, of telling the world of your character

You have crawled yourself back into my life somehow
Pushing boundaries so much farther out than I could never even imagine
I struggle with you sometimes, I long and desire and I wish I didnt have to deal with you
But you have seemed to bring out the strength I never knew I have

I find you are befriending freedom
Maybe you two have been friends for decades
It takes me to stand from a different perspective to see you two together
A small spot where I could uncover the blind spot from ur hiding corner

I know you are here to stay
That your visit is not a test but my learnings to see you with fresh perspective
You have come to be a part of my home
So I pray you find a spacious room in me, plant your seedlings and stay with me

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Colourless

My heart sank
Not only did it not work
You have tainted it with childish gestures
The memories were sold cheaply
Not only did you not understand
You did not love me, maybe never have
But if you ever did, I was wrong in not telling you
Its not how I see love 

I was filled with anger
One which blamed myself more than you or us
For it was a poor judgment of character from my side
I wanted to tell you how I feel
When we were still one and even now
This anger I couldn't hold it in much longer
As it corrups me
And so I am writing to you
A piece which you will, also, never comprehend
Because your eyes never strayed from looking at you and yourself only

But I no longer need you to understand me
As I release my anger in this piece
We were not good together
I guess we had our time, a short one
But never should have pushed for more
Nothing should be that dreadful, not love

As I remember our days towards the end, it has ended way before I pulled out
You should have known better too
Because somewhere in you
You know I'm not home to you

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Memories

You call this one Memories
Colours which fill your past
Blending in harmony
With distinct life-changing milestones
Even as it fades with time
In flashes but real as ever
You feel it in your skin
Your eyes tear up and smile
Oh how rich has your life been
And so you rest in acceptance 

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Untamed Soul

You love me too much
In the past this was my end point
But life caught me by surprise
Because I too, love you too much

Bollywood as it seems
As dreamy as disney
This steps on risky milky way
Or is this how it should me when it comes to loving

Its being afraid of losing
But love anyway, and more
Its being brave enough to be vulnerable
Fierce yet gentle and grounded

For what is ours ?
At the end
All is a phase
All is yours
None is yours
Be humble
Comprehend it
Or not
You will then have it without
Having to ask for it
For nature will give to an untamed soul
Uncorrupted by fear despite the scars of the past
Not because one is naive
But because of an open heart
And another soul is always
Always attracted to a generous soul

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Gift

This is to remind me to live in the present

It's being mesmerized by the flame of a candle flicker

Every change in color and shape 

Every movement 

How the constant movement warms me

It's focusing on my breath and feeling all the sensation the present offers

Each breath differs in depth and length

The present, each new day, is our baby. 

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Crossroads

How do you see yourself ?

Sometimes its so hard to find the words to articulate how you feel really

And you don't know if life at some point draws that line of courage in you and told you it was stupid and so the fear and insecurity grow bigger than you, in you, feeding from your daily routine

Your scope narrows

Your focus not as sharp for years its been too long

And now the same life demands that out of you again somehow reborn as if it has never hurt that side of you

It demands you to be fearless

Courageous and full of spirit

Like someone who isn't guilty of a wrongdoing

How do you spread your wings which have been glued to your chest for so long now

You wonder if it's a process you have to do on your own, at your own pace, for every feather which opens up is a process

Whilst the surrounding appears like a bunch of impatient crowd ready to rip that bandage off, not knowing that it will not reap the fruit but a wound which would find another place to heal

As everyone finds a place to mature

You are in constant search to see if where you've been remains the right place

Because it seemed like the right place to grow but is it the right place for you to spread that wings wide, majestic as it deserves ?

How do you get there, to a place where you can spread my wings and yet, be home?

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Selfless

What is love?

I don't think I know what that means
All I know is what it manifests into 

I care about you
More than myself
I feel for you
Your pain and light of happiness
Your sunshine and your tears 

You take me along a journey with you
One which you have never embarked on yourself
It's been remarkable
I have discovered more about myself in our journey
Something which I will always bring with me

It was not born out of the ordinary
We have been through quite a few phases
Its incredible how you have hung on
But you see
I don't know if you will continue to hang on
Will we still excite you when things are "normal"
You said that where we are now is a miracle
But will this go stale after a while
How can you be certain
How can I be certain
That we would still desire being together
I guess no one is and will ever 

All I know is I like having you around
You make me feel light
You make me laugh and how I love your laughter
You bring out a side of me which eases my heart
You make it easy
All of our memories
Aren't they the sweetest

Will we have much more of those
How much time do we have ?
Or will we have a lifetime ?
I don't have answers to these
I only know that I see things as they are 

And I want you to be happy 

Every day
The way the sea and water brings out the life in you

You then said to me
"My sweets, it doesn't matter what love means, for we are it"

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