Far From It

I lie when I say I don't care what happen to them
I tell myself to care less, simply because its not mine to care
but I cant

I cant because I love them
and when something break, I will fix it
or at least, I try to

I come home with bags of food
even though not all are present,
I thought that food will give an opportunity to ease the tension
thinking that of all the days, this, would be a good chance to have supper

but no, I was wrong
what was I thinking?
my good day is not enough
far from it, in fact to ease the tension

this, is a pain in the ass,
I don't wanna care
because my life would be so freakin much easier if I don't
but I just cant

and despite the pain
I'm secretly grateful I cant
damn it


*for those who love me, my family, lover and friends, don't put me in this agony.
if you know it will trap me in a helpless situation, among my loved ones, then stop it.

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Pull it, Go on

The thing is, I don’t care. I don’t care whether or not its important to me or anyone, anymore.

I wish I can be that generous hearted you see, but I realised im not that strong. I mean what I say, I don’t mind and I don’t care, but a part of me is tired, very tired from all these. Tired of understanding, tired of waiting without certainty, tired of people who without guilt left others waiting.

They say no pain no gain, but really, is this even pain? Am I just a spoiled brat who doesn’t see through as it is? Its true, patience is similar to a very elastic rubber. Pulled it long enough to know its limit, but when you push through its limit it will break.

So pull mine to its limit, see how long I stand.

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