Bittersweet

A crappy coffee is what satisfies the tongue without effect,

For all we know the blossom fades no matter how exuberant.

What is there in the treasure box promising gold?

Isn’t there merely white lies and desperate dreams?

“I have to look at myself in the mirror to draw myself,

And every time, I see someone else.”

The venue is but an empty shell,

For too much other forms a variety.

“Kiss gently, laugh insanely and love truly,”

For a rare wine is dull without risks.

We’ll all return to ashes,

And eternity is not is the width we desire.

In lust we trust, for no casuals are casuals.

Like a final bet we take our luck,

Another foolishness indulged.

Naivety speaks of no regret on everything that makes you smile.

We put it out there for ecstasy,

The wild will either kill or make it tougher, but will it?

Comfort zone and consistency can be boring,

But for living we risk it to death.

Come play with love and sorrow,

For love and hate are but the same at different times.

Always cut it clean,

For the after taste of bittersweet will poison.

Picture Ref.: by nile-can-too , refer to <http://nile-can-too.deviantart.com/art/One-for-sorrow-two-for-joy-305157348>

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Safety Not Guaranteed

Kenneth: "It's that time and that place and that song, and you remember what it was like when you were in that place. And then you listen to that song, and you know you're not in that place anymore, and it makes you feel hollow. You can't just go find that stuff again."

1. Kenneth: "To go it alone or to go with a partner? When you choose a partner, you have to have compromises and sacrifices, but it's a price you pay. Do I want to follow my every whim and desire as I make my way through time and space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone when I'm doubting myself and I'm insecure and MY heart fails me? Do I need someone, who when the heat gets hot, has my back?"
2. Darius: "Sooo... Do you?"
3. Kenneth: "I do."

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"O Rly"

Surprise us because this is the best time it can happen. For all we know things were happening so fast that we are crippling inside. It's funny how something that feels so right is not what they should be but this is life right, it's real. 

There is no hidden meaning in the words I write because I run out of words and a part of me, not missing, but changed along with loss. We can't ask questions on why they all don't seem to work because they are decisions we both made at a price. But really, why do we always make decisions that tear us apart, just from about everything that makes us feel familiar?

You are supposed to be here, to see the leaves fall, perform the daily family guy ritual, and I'm supposed to fall asleep while we watch historical movies. You are supposed to be here, to listen to my cries when life's being merciless, to complain about the flies during summer and curse during winter. You are supposed to be here, drinking beer and smoking with me and questioning what we want in our lives, trying to find a new life here. You are suppose to be here, laughing together not because of our ambition but simply because we have each other. You are supposed to be here, not to fall in love with me but just to wake up and be happy we can hold each other, kiss in the rain, dance to our feet and be silly. We are supposed to doubt together, and find our way still.

Maybe knowing does help, because it gives you time to say our goodbyes. And no, goodbyes don't happen at the point where it's gone, it's said with bits and pieces and it's never enough. Frankly, you don't really mean it anyway. Stop kidding with yourself.

It's going to be hard to beat. Everything about it, is. The laughter, the beers, the dance, the jokes, the food, the going-missing, the cold, the goin-to-hell snapping, the screw-you curse, the sarcasm, the cuddling, the fall, the winter, the spring, the summer, the snowballs, the lame jokes, the conversation, and the list will never end.

God doesn't have a good sense of humor, we of all people know that. But this one really got us.

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Knowing

Knowing doesn't help at all, I'm telling you. 

Hope is what's corroding you and sets you up for denial. 

You hope and strive for a different path. 

And when it's finally here, a surge of pain stabs you in the core.

No regrets, oh hell no.

But loss, ah yes, it will follow right through.

Still, knowing is futile for the hopeful.

Picture Ref.: by NotBlackEnough, also available at: http://notblackenough.deviantart.com/art/The-Power-Of-Not-Knowing-165127981?q=boost%3Apopular%20knowing&qo=41

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"I Don't Like Change"

A talking baby in a funny American cartoon once quoted "I don't like change!!" when he realized his rooftop has a huge hole because his dad used it to build a bar at his house garden (if you know what cartoon I'm talking about, I'm starting to like you).

But really, maybe we all don't actually like changes, no matter how adventurous we said we are. Anxiety is the agony of standing in the midst of a process that's beyond your control. After all, what's the fun of knowing it all, isn't it? Ergh... no it's not fun not knowing either. But what if you already know, but it's not something you've asked for? Could time change your perspective on your wants?

"I'd rather look a fool, than never have tried". I feel that these are crazy; the taking-on-chances thing, the trying-without-bargaining-power thing, the let's-do-it-to-make-us happy thing, the I-wanna-search-when-I-know-I'm-better-off-at-home thing. But what are we if we don't do these crazy things? We'll all be dead by now won't we?

I once said that happiness is never a waste of time. I earn my chance and I take what I deserve. But there comes a time when coming changes are driven by the welfare of our loved ones. They are not sacrifices we make for them, they are "sleepy conscience" that pushes us to look around us waking our sense of responsibility up. 

Time is ticking, and the pressure is rising. But to who? Them? Me? I'm sick of giving answers to strangers who sit and watch me make or break.

Picture Ref.: by *V-IMAgine-L, available also at http://v-imagine-l.deviantart.com/art/Make-art-Not-war-187288143?q=boost%3Apopular%20make%20or%20break&qo=63

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Deception

Knowledge frees and imprisons. It’s funny how the more you know, the more timid you become. When does your courage start to shrink? You started off real good, with optimism and fearless despite the platter that's coming our way when you were born. Then you fill yourself with knowledge, something that's supposed to equip you with better decision making ability, only to realize that it doesn't always serve its purpose. When each trial bumps you into a dead end, it devours your sense of direction. Maybe stupid decisions can be fruitful, but when they are, suddenly the world thinks it’s a genius idea.

We love, but we are selfish.

We are helpful, but we discourage.

We know, but we are stupid.

We are ambitious, but we are blind.

We support, but we watch and laugh.

We give the best, but from our eyes.

We accept, but not for long.

We fear. We worry. We doubt. Just on about everything in life. The thing is when you don't fit anywhere, you are nowhere. How do you put it in words, seriously, when you know what you want, but you just don't know in what form it will be presented to you, you just can't see it. Some say when you are fearless, you start living. How do you stare fear into the eyes and tell it off? We have got to be living elsewhere.

It's all fake, dreams are.

It's soaked wet, and parasites grow.

It's a chronic disease, and you will die.

It's the future, but it's a mirror.

It's artificial, but what's real?

It's what makes you complete, but until when?

It's a deception, and you see an end.

Picture ref.: Deception by Wolf Midnight Dancer, self edited, original version available at: http://wolf-midnight-dancer.deviantart.com/art/Deception-121201047?q=boost%3Apopular%20deception&qo=136

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Pace and Process

                                       
    
We always want it faster than the actual process. The experienced said "enjoy the process", and the travelers will reply the same, if only they know of the outcome. Unfortunately they don't and the anxiety builds up to become pressure unreleased. 


Plans always don't go accordingly. Sometimes life gives you less than what you asked for and that's why, we are always encouraged to aim high. But what if it is not less, its just not yet the time. 


Convince faith to come back and settle in you. Like the shade of a sunglasses shielding your eyes from the scorching sun, you should do the same and let only the warmth and surreal peace caress your body. The world tells you that faster pace is a sign of outstanding quality, when instead you should just be moving along with the process knowing that eventually a destination would be reached.

Shake the anxiety off your body and soak in contentment. Recall how baby steps mold you and smell the scent of that new door. Because you are not lost, you just can't see it yet, but you will.


Pic Ref.: by AMITSHITA, available at : http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=pace&order=9&offset=264#/d4nuwvk

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Pearl and Frankenstein

Don't fight for me, because I don't want to taint it.

We both have, actually, but no further.

It's impossible to clean something off their rubble, but I want a pearl.

A smooth and edge-less beauty

And if we can't have diamonds, then I shall not lose the pearl I'm holding.

Hang loose, and be nowhere.

Why push and risk on breaking it ?

Maybe I prefer it dispersed than having it concentrated.

Never have I come across something too much that doesn't make me sick.

I hate to taste the sweetness because now I need something more.

You doped me.

But never did you know, that one day this will not be enough.

Its narcotics, it makes one anxious and asks for more.

Till the person doesn't matter anymore, just the deed.

I expect it to proliferate, by itself.

Can you make that happen ?

Make it because I need to feed myself.
What have you turned me into darling?

A frankenstein within.

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No Road to Better Loving

Time does not just make us forget, it is cruel. It makes us devalue our treasure, take for granted what we can't live without, and turns us all into idiots. Why is it not possible to care better each day? Everything doesn't happen just too quickly, but too meaninglessly. Somehow tomorrow you will forget a little what you take as gold today.

Age, they say. The years will savor you alive till the ground buries you back into the soil. We fought hard to be better, but forget to treat people better. People come and go, and they mean it. Why are we, despite years of life experience, becoming more and more stupid each day, thinking that people who love us will stay? Because they won't, if you don't make 'em.

Be alone. If you need space and time to release the foul smell of life, stay out. Naive is to involve and experience everything together. The fact is, you don't need company, and they are better off without your shit.

There is no road to better loving.

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Poison

Cut it deep, because that's the only way to feel alive. How is it possible to let it slip when you keep reminding yourself not to everyday? You want to indulge, in what some say the remedy, but poison to others. Is it really a poison, you start to doubt. When, and at what quantity and quality, does a remedy becomes a poison? When does a blessing turns into a destruction?

They say almost everything delicious makes you fat, 'most everything carelessly fun is sinful, and 'most everything that happens too fast ends short. Does too much of something good means that it's impossible, simply because our loving God is fair and won't give you anything that's perfect, because nothing is?

Be realistic, because the coward you refuse to take up what could be. Like the childish perception, you put your shield up before the fight begins. You say that time fucks us all, while others say God, fucks us all. But you ask for neither the presence of time nor God. Their presence coerced themselves unto you to which your life must revolve around.

Count it down as the pressure increases. If the countdown stops, maybe, we should just settle for mediocrity.

Picture ref.: http://fhrankee.deviantart.com/art/Poison-143447972?q=boost:popular%20poison&qo=68 by fhrankee

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Impulse

Impulsivity.

It can bring so much joy and laughter

More than you can ever imagine you deserve

Just when you thought its imaginative and that the package will never arrive in your hands

Right beside you, you lay it down

You can't believe that your mind for once connects to the real world

And that the nature is realising whats buried there all along

You look at it, the package that now lies, real, tangible, even with your eyes close

Silliness are unacknowledged happiness for the pride-beaten beings

The brightly-colored flowers are the child-like gestures that we still manage to keep within us

Impulsivity, it brings out, sometimes, the best of us

But everything real has two sides, and you can't change nothing

You witness that the same impulse can hurt

Its bullets target your most loved ones

Power to control, you tell your brain

But no, thats what impulse are love

Because like a flick of the fingers, it comes uninvited and leaves you with guilt

Its ignorance will disregard the presence of guilt that scars you

Rationale will come a while after

Talking, talking, it just can't stop flooding you with words

But your pride will attempt to shut you up

Convincing you that its not worth it

Why befriend with honesty when pride prevails and bring you far, it will deceit you

You gotta empty the pail and start anew

You look again, into the package that comes your way and everything else fades

It's worth it, every effort, discomfort and suppressing of the inborn pride

Conscience will wake you, though it won't change you.

So open your eyes, and empty your pail, because its the only way to keep it flowing.

Picture Ref.: http://saligia.deviantart.com/art/duality-100882236?q=boost:popular%20duality&qo=10 by Saligia

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